Wednesday, January 31, 2007
2:05 AM ?
yesterday was good in that I had my friends with me the whole time and I felt loved but something was missing so i didnt feel wholely loved, cause I made someone disappointed and he's the last person I want to feel all this fuckyness from but I cant help it, and I'm sorry. I went so mad I was literally crying all over the place, and worrying everyone. I'm sorry I mess things up for people all the time. and thank you guys for being there for me. esp Edwin.I really didn't expect you to crawl out of bed just to check on me, I swear you've been the best.
Im going to go change into my PJs in awhile,drop edwin a text and jump straight to bed so I've all the energy tomorrow to meet up with Jie Ting. I hope I stop crying because it's starting to piss even myself off.
Im pretending that it’s ending but it kills me to act so strong
Just to gaze in your eyes, makes all the difference to me.
I’m hoping if you know where I am
Send your heart in a telegram
Do you remember like I remember
Or was it all in my head?
but deep down inside i feel nothing like what i portray.shit.
Good night world.
Monday, January 29, 2007
8:19 PM ?
Yesterday was a night gone wrong.
I shall not elaborate.
On a sidenote, I want to slim down.
Period.
Saturday, January 27, 2007
3:00 AM ?
Work was such a bitch, so was she and the customers. My legs are almost close to breaking, my heart was tore apart and my emotions went on a roller coaster ride.
The night embraced me with an unbalanced mind.
Imagine you are an onlooker looking at a situation, and that situation happens to be your love life. What can you truly see? Can you dissect every emotion? And the people involved, what are they doing to you? Are they making you feel wonderfully blissful or worse, tormented? Some people look for love at all the wrong places. I pose this question to you. What is love to you? That something that makes you happy? Or that something that gives you that drive in life. Are you able to describe love? All these thoughts were lingering in my brain at work as I was walking home. I watch intently as other people’s love lives slowly enfold itself. Slowly, my thoughts drift back to my own. Well, we always hold onto something so dearly and that is hope. This glimmer of hope that keeps us going. But this thing we call hope is fragile; it either make us or break us.
I feel happy, and yet...
if it makes you happy, it cant be that bad.
if it makes you happy,
then why the hell are you so sad?
I guess when something like a soul becomes initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes, you can't expect a bit of hope.I'm love with you, would you love me too? because that text proved too much
Love, bec
Friday, January 26, 2007
2:09 AM ?
I dont know what put me in a semi-reflective mood today, but it made me think a bit too much.
I guess I genuinely fear waking up to find you've disappeared without trace.
I fear waking up in the morning to find you've left me no text or missed call.
I fear being alone here without you.
I fear you wouldn't hold out for me any longer.
I fear that there's someone else.
I fear you forgetting about me.Love, Bec
Thursday, January 25, 2007
11:58 PM ?
Pig out session with Honeypot today.It was Kway chap&sundae&home cooking&fun imitating some of the people.&&&we walked all the way back home. Guess nothing beats a wonderful outing with honeypot after so long. I'm so glad everything still feels as good and as fun as before.
I think I've gained 10 kg from all that nasty indulgence.But it was a happy off-day for me nontheless :)
bring me to the sea of sugar and spice
reminiscing through some chocolate ice
tick tock take time to be gentle and kind
you sweat cos you run and run all day in my mind honey.
Saturday, January 20, 2007
2:45 AM ?
I have nothing much to offer. Just some pictures of what I've been up to. Besides, the lack of sleep has caused me to suffer severely, I can feel a bad bout of flu coming up.
LOVE & A 584 GUCCI BELT
January has been rather nice to me :)
and tomorrow spells O-F-F-D-A-Y, like finally. I can't wait for lunch date with mum.
Mabel, Choong Hwee, Jason are so sweet, they're about to give me diabetes.
Thankyou for panadol,lozenges&honeytea&lots of love.
So it has all been the same. Random outings here and there, work's good so far.mundane but good, down side is, time is of the essence now.I hardly have time to even hold a conversation with the parents and I wonder why I feel more tired than usual.I seem to be so tired that I can't be bothered to type on any longer.
good night, world.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
1:19 AM ?
Sometimes we go back to remember, remember all the lil things that we did. And I've been here before. 56 times and more.
Monday, January 8, 2007
1:22 AM ?
Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASON! May only good things come your way now and learn how to trick me lesser.heh. Thanks for lunch,panadol&mineralwater&tissues.
Had a real interesting conversation with Mum this noon. And it got me thinking and realising that perhaps now that we've all grown up (in terms of physically or mentally), we start getting lazy and perhaps afraid to be prone to vulnerability, to get to know new people and allow new people to get to know us. That's what I've been feeling lately, I think I'm getting old ah :/
Disappointing or what. When it seems so near, you realise that you have so many bones to pick, so many flaws to fault. It's all so strange that I'd actually be feeling this way. I could just walk away from all these, I have a choice, and I think I actually would. Like always.And all I wanted was a bench to rest my weary legs.My silent heart agrees I have done my best.
oh, and I love you many many :)
With all the love in the world, becs
Thursday, January 4, 2007
2:34 AM ?
JANUARY
1) School started and everything started pretty well.
FEBUARY
1) CHINESE NEW YEAR
2)Family Chalet
3) VALENTINE'S DAY was spent wonderfully with bestie, roses and chocolates
MARCH
1) Class Chalet
2) Adam Khoo's workshop
APRIL
1) Bestie and Kexin's 17th birthday party at Seoul Garden
2) Speech Day'06
MAY
1) Han and I were seeing each other and things weren't that good.
2) Trip to LASALLE
3) Granny's birthday dinner
JUNE
1) I lose myself and drove almost everyone around me mad
JULY
1) Bestie and I lost our minds and went mad at CARREFOUR
2) BAYBEATS with yana, iza and han
3) Steamboat at marina with the usuals
4) Mum's birthday. I forgot how old
AUGUST
1) Day out at sentosa and fireworks with bestie.
2) The girlfriends held a surprise birthday party for me with that oh-so- yummy peppermint cake. and I nearly teared. Thank you girlfriends for that awesome surprise and all those chocolates.
3)Things got messy and complicated. My mind was fucked. I was caught between old and new.
4) Amrita's 18th in house party
5) it was suppose to be Wen hui's 17th birthday party but Lydia and I turned the whole party into cam-whoring session
SEPTEMBER
1) Happy Teacher's day
2) Class outing at RSAF open house and shopping with daryl at orchard after that.
3) Cherie's 17th birthday celebrated at pepper lunch
4) Ain's 17th birthday party
5) The whole class got so emotional that day, thinking about Graduation and decided to be cooperative for once and pose for my cam!
6) The wonderful day when bestie and I went crazy.
7)Han and I patched things up
OCTOBER
1) The day when the clique and I wasn't really in the mood for Biology
2) My chemistry consultant
3) Things was so much better with Bestie and me then.
4 ) My very first time in baking a cheesecake with the B&B
5)Mid-Autumn Festival
6) Graduation day
7) Lots of fun with the art people on art submission day
8) Very first try in making sugared Strawberries
9) In the midst of preparation for the big O
10) The birth of B&B and lots of sakae fun
NOVEMBER
1)Class Chalet
2) Prom Night 2006
December
1) Job at LATTE
2) Christmas 2006
3) Supper every damn night with them
4)Things were good for han and I, we parted for the second time.
2006 had been a fast traumatising rollercoaster ride, with its after effects still stirring within.Anyway, thank you to all whom I had come across in 2006 because in a way or other, you've made an impact in my life,be it good or bad, 2006 wouldn't be complete without you. To those who had been there for me when I'm down and even those who built me up just to watch me fall, there are just too many to name, but I genuinely thank you all and will remember you at certain points of my life.
Two-oh-oh-seven
1) Lots of hugs and kisses when the clock hit 12!! 2007
2)Sheena and I shared our deepest secrets during the sleep-over. Then we got a lot closer. It was darn funny, the process of spilling the beans.
what an eventful year for me.
the new people who came into my life, I'll treasure.
2007, be a blessed year for me, as i turn 18.
And damn, I'm too tired of being in this page. I took three days to do this damn entry. yes its tedious, checking dates and finding pictures! shit, bye.
